Maybe it’s been a long time to me to just locked my heart for any boys in this world just because of one boy. I call him ‘papi’ >> the first papi. He was my school mate. He’s just one of the newest IPS boys, he moved to our school at 2nd semester of 11 grade, but i don’t know why he was so famous and many girls around him (- __-” ), even Sule’s Son is more handsome than him. Maybe he have a good charisma.
FIrst i know him from my friend Maria ‘Tibo’, they’re practice for english drama that every class do it at that time, and she introduce my self to him, but just for knowing each other. Then, nothing special between us because she had a girlfiend, she’s my bestfriend too, but i don’t know why she don’t want to talk to me, even we don’t have any problem, and i don’t know when it’s started.
I heard that they’ve been broke up, because his girl was cheating.
The next interaction is in 12 grade when we have been doing a practical task at 1st semester. I just joking with my ex, i asked him to drove me home. Of course he said NO because my house is too far for him, and because of his girlfriend too. But he called someone to drove me home, he shouted out loud, “D**…A****….!” and yeah he talked to him, and he said YES. We talked about his class, and how is IPS, and blabla..
And I said thanks again in twitter, and I having joke with him, just played up with him, like OVJ’s.
and yeah we just have fun. Until one day he asked me to come with him in birthday party of our friend. I asked him who’s invited, and he did’t mention ‘that’ girl and the geng. But when the day come, and i come in with him, we were be the center of attention. And I’ve a little shocked because ‘that’ girl and the geng were invited too. Things going very hot, because all of them keep quip (menyindir) both of us. Fortunately, ‘that’ girl and the geng sit it in different table. And as time goes by, we finished our lunch, and his friend keep disturb him to say “it” in front of them. And he said NO. But, after he tired to refuse their wish, he said YES, but just telling about his feeling about me, not asked me back or asked me to be his girl. And it’s the beggining of my hurted heart.
Since that time our relationship is just hanging on there, i don’t know what we are, but he wrote on BBM status “LOVE MS”, then in bio Twitter “belongs to @marthamarisa” it’s made me confident. He always said that we’re a couple, but I always said NO, because I never answer him (although i really want to be his girl). In the other side, my BF always asked me about our status, and they also said that “don’t just ‘let t flow’.. because one day he’ll ‘let it flow’ to you, and your heart will broke in the end” . I afraid it would be come true, and yeah, it’s came true. He having dinner with ‘that’ girl after churchig wiith His MOTHER. It’s really shocked me up. I be a stalker all time. And my BF, my class mate asked me about that, because his DP’s BBM were changed with her. It was really hurt me. And status BBM changed to nothing, and bio Twiiter is also had been deleted. I was so panic, it’s a bad news. But I still trust him. But i can’t hold my tears. And that is my first time to crying for a boy -_-, even after i’d been cheated with almost all my ex. I cried for a week long.. I don’t know, my heart just like deeply hurt. He left me behind slowly without a clearly status.
Maybe it’s called KARMA. But i accept this.
He tried to give me an explanation, and he said, ” aku denger dari anak-anak kamu nangis dan blablabla, aku itu udah ga aware lagi sama *****.. itu mamaku yang undang dia, karena mama ku kan udah kenal baik sama dia dulu”. I just reply with’ “iya, aku udah tau. Yaudah.” I don’t know what to say. And slowly he go away, and back to her again. To see they walk together, and and how romantic he is, makes me really really hurt. But when retreat she said sorry to me,and crying, I just said sorry back. haha because I’m not a mellow girl just to say sorry.. wkwkwk
Then my relatioship with the next boy is not going good. It’s feels empty. And I ended this.
And until now, my heart it just feels like empty, nothing, and locked, and i don’t know who’s the one who’ll find my heart lock.
Thanks for reading my story 😀